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In the Still Depths of Spirit
Journeying Hearts Compose

Earth Day 2012

I sit, no I

No toes, no teeth
No chard, no kale, no lemons.


of mint
of lavender
and rosemary.
A volunteer squash
arose in my pepper bed - 10,000 years
of agriculture, the principle remains...

We are matter.

We grow from fertilized seed
in a womb.
We need sun and rain
and earth and air.
We need love
and kindness to Thrive.

Sometimes we need

to compete.
If a weed is pulled in a garden,
does anybody hear it's scream?

The unwanted are thrown
like a hand full of pebbles
scattered on a pond, their ripples
echoing in my pulse.

During Passover, the Jews shed wine
for the slain Egyptians. We slew
them nonetheless.

Sometimes we choose

not to choose and the pieces
fall where they may.
We are here!
We can choose!
Those who do not
oppose... allow!
Even with a thought or a prayer
it is okay to oppose!

There are no second chances

When death comes,
you're gone! No I,
no nose, no ear, no heart


Will you pray on your deathbed
for a second chance at living?


can be cruel (I see it in my beautiful garden)
the strong,
the desired survive.

We respond

to what is before us.
What is far
seems beyond our caring.
It takes

a movement past comfort.

Ignorance is bliss but I don't care,
there is something greater

I'd rather know!

Because in the heart of knowing,
is where we matter.

And in the heart of matter,
is where we're knowing.

Love Like Me

Did I really experience Love?
That is the only question you
will want
to answer on
your death bed.

Love like trees rooting drinking
Love like simple distant winds
Love like sweet adoration

Am I realy offering my love?
That is the only question you
will want
to pay attention to
as you breathe

Love like comprehention
Love like totality
Love like Now

Do I really have anything that is true but Love?
That is the question you
will have
to realize
as everything fades away

Love like sand beneath your feet
Love like treasure at the bottom of the ocean
Love like the absolute infinite

So what if you are grateful for your food?

Have you had the chance

to whisper a dream to God with your eyes

closed under the Texas sun?


Have you spread your devotion

flat like an iron before the Earth?


Did you wake up this morning

and realize the miracle of your breath?


Did you go to bed with

the whisper of eternity in your ear?


Have you given all your thanks

for the food you are eating

but slice away like screaming cats

the voices of millions who go hungry?


Did you steal and cheat and lie

and commiserate over the hole

in your sock over a latte while counting

your dividend?


So what if you are grateful for your food?


1 Then the LORD spoke to Job out of the storm. He said:

2 “Who is this that obscures my plans
   with words without knowledge?
3 Brace yourself like a man;
   I will question you,
   and you shall answer me.

 4 “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundation?
   Tell me, if you understand.
5 Who marked off its dimensions? Surely you know!
   Who stretched a measuring line across it?
6 On what were its footings set,
   or who laid its cornerstone—
7 while the morning stars sang together
   and all the angels shouted for joy?

 8 “Who shut up the sea behind doors
   when it burst forth from the womb,
9 when I made the clouds its garment
   and wrapped it in thick darkness,
10 when I fixed limits for it
   and set its doors and bars in place,
11 when I said, ‘This far you may come and no farther;
   here is where your proud waves halt’?

 12 “Have you ever given orders to the morning,
   or shown the dawn its place,
13 that it might take the earth by the edges
   and shake the wicked out of it?
14 The earth takes shape like clay under a seal;
   its features stand out like those of a garment.
15 The wicked are denied their light,
   and their upraised arm is broken.

 16 “Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea
   or walked in the recesses of the deep?
17 Have the gates of death been shown to you?
   Have you seen the gates of the deepest darkness?
18 Have you comprehended the vast expanses of the earth?
   Tell me, if you know all this.

 19 “What is the way to the abode of light?
   And where does darkness reside?
20 Can you take them to their places?
   Do you know the paths to their dwellings?
21 Surely you know, for you were already born!
   You have lived so many years!

 22 “Have you entered the storehouses of the snow
   or seen the storehouses of the hail,
23 which I reserve for times of trouble,
   for days of war and battle?
24 What is the way to the place where the lightning is dispersed,
   or the place where the east winds are scattered over the earth?
25 Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain,
   and a path for the thunderstorm,
26 to water a land where no one lives,
   an uninhabited desert,
27 to satisfy a desolate wasteland
   and make it sprout with grass?
28 Does the rain have a father?
   Who fathers the drops of dew?
29 From whose womb comes the ice?
   Who gives birth to the frost from the heavens
30 when the waters become hard as stone,
   when the surface of the deep is frozen?

 31 “Can you bind the chains of the Pleiades?
   Can you loosen Orion’s belt?
32 Can you bring forth the constellations in their seasons
   or lead out the Bear with its cubs?
33 Do you know the laws of the heavens?
   Can you set up God’s dominion over the earth?

 34 “Can you raise your voice to the clouds
   and cover yourself with a flood of water?
35 Do you send the lightning bolts on their way?
   Do they report to you, ‘Here we are’?
36 Who gives the ibis wisdom
   or gives the rooster understanding?
37 Who has the wisdom to count the clouds?
   Who can tip over the water jars of the heavens
38 when the dust becomes hard
   and the clods of earth stick together?

 39 “Do you hunt the prey for the lioness
   and satisfy the hunger of the lions
40 when they crouch in their dens
   or lie in wait in a thicket?
41 Who provides food for the raven
   when its young cry out to God
   and wander about for lack of food?

If you’ve made it this far, I congratulate you.

There may be hope for us yet.

Service is a doorway

The day of institutions
falling by the wayside
is here. The Way
The Path of spirals, emeralds
crystals, The Earth Speaks, I

hear. Is here.

If I try, I lose, I listen
I know, I see, I don't, I
interfere, I miss, I abandon all
I arrive. No thought animation rather
animation wills thought. Animation wielded
by the sword of love.

MedMob Video click here.

Potential Morning

Listening to Bollywood dance music this morning and sitting on my couch
watching the leaves of spring take over the view. There hasn’t been a day
like this in a while. It’s not that I don’t feel an urgency of things to do.
There are still those. Whether it’s reading ‘Strategic Planning for Dummies’
or finishing up the newsletter I need to send out today. I’m taking a
grounding break.

It’s not going to be a long grounding break. I will do some practice soon.. I
will walk down to the farmer’s market and meet Maya. Sitting on your ass
doing nothing is highly overrated. At least in MY mind it is. I feel much
better after a full day of doing than a full day of nothing. I think it
helps that I love my job. So I really don’t find anything to complain about.
And then everything feels good. I don’t find a need to create shortcuts. I
get to be creative.

Speaking of creative, I finished my collage the other night. It is perched
over my saxophone in my living room. Next to my drums. Next to the pieces of
bamboo in the corner against which (at their base) are leaning my flutes. A
little display of potential staring me in the face every day. Everyday an
invitation extended to the music and the dance. And the computer with the
Bose speakers (as I mentioned) playing Bangala.

Potential is looming. It is about to explode. For those who are ready. Who
are prepared with their boards to ride this wave of excellence through the
desert. It is coming. And we are going to take over the world. (Hi NSA
people, thanks for being interested). I am one of those optimists. Some
people think we are heading for calamity. That we will be fighting for our
food. They have guns (even some of my hippie friends!!!).

No, I think everything is going to be just fine. All we have to do is ride
the wave of creativity when it comes. Don’t be afraid. Ride with all your
Soul. Ride with freedom breathing down your neck like a fire breathing
dragon. Ride without thinking of what possessions you are leaving behind.
Ride your wave out of the dream state. It’s coming for you. Jump onto that
board and ride the waves like the wind!

The Bamboo of the Mind 2

It is the very nature of peace that it cannot be disturbed! I was just sitting in the glory of the bamboo grove in my back yard (how did I get so lucky anyway?) I was meditating and having conversations with the elements. Along came walking on the path near me our delightful neighbor and her dog Flower. The dog, being a compassionate and playful one, came over and sniffed and gave a general doggy ‘hello.’ Carol, my neighbor apologized for the disruption to my peace.

As she called Flower and walked away I thought to myself, ‘Has my peace actually been disturbed?’ I supposed I could have created some disruption by thinking about how embarrassed I was to be caught red handed meditating in public. Or just been generally anxious at the lack of privacy I might decide that I have. Or, really, I could have a look and see that nothing actually happened except for a splendorous sunny afternoon and a walk. Nothing has disturbed my peace, EVER, except my own imagination of things and how they are or aren’t.

Byron Katie has a wonderful method of helping us to see how everything we believe in is true. And it’s opposite is true. And if you turn the objects around – that too is true (meaning – if you believe something about another then the same is true about you in some way).

There are so many ways in which I can convince myself something is awful. But is it really necessary? Is it necessary for me to convince myself of the awfulness of something? How beautiful would it be if we stopped awfulizing each other (‘awfulizing’ is a term stolen (borrowed) from Albert Ellis and Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy – that along with ‘musterbation’ are my favorites i.e. we don’t ‘have to’ anything).

So just remember, you don’t ‘have-to’ anything! You don’t have to consider something wrong or awful simply because all your life you’ve been told that it is. Even if I’m not getting what I want, it is not awful. There is always a blessing in everything (and believe me I’ve learned that the hard way, not from a book – but practice makes perfect). 

Blessings y’all from garden planting season in TX!

Baby steps… baby steps…

The Bamboo of the Mind

The bamboo is clanking in the wind making sounds like a thousand wild geese. Texas has been cold. Outside my window dusk is settling and a storm is supposed to come. If I remember who I am, nothing can faze me. If I do not, well… you know how it is when you believe everything that goes through your head. Or your body for that matter.

Establishing a home has been bumpy. Recovering from nomad-hood is a slow process. Yesterday I was told the job I was applying for has many benefits including 25 paid days off per year. My mind froze. When is the last time I did anything for a year? I guess I’m hoping to. Though the thought of it is terrifying. As if excitement is dying and will forever be buried in my boggy past.

Ok mother, I know, I can hear your thoughts right now. ‘It is a whole new adventure,’ you are telling me. And of course, I know that. I’ve always believed in taking the path most terrifying to me. That is why I choose to try working with abused and neglected children. Why I flew to Costa Rica with $400 in my bank account. Why I’m here. Waiting. Allowing. Listening. Going for it. Move forward or die. That has always been my choice.

I gather my thoughts sometimes as if they were leaves in my garden and I was afraid of them flying away in the wind. At least I don’t try to make them stay on the tree anymore. I’d better be careful or I’ll end up sleeping with a compost pile; which is what most of us carry around in our bodies and minds anyway. Ease of release I heard the other night. Let the past fly away and the future disintegrate.

Today's Rain

The path
leads nowhere my front door
stretches for miles.
It is cold or I
would sit on the porch breath
in the air freshly
formed of cedars and green chard

A drizzle has taken
over the silent stony
path to the street,
the swings are still
in the yard. I've lived here
for two weeks no end
to the road at hand
no teleporter
to the captains lounge.
The screen
is blank no work
is calling I say
yet again I am
still and uninformed
as to where the water
is drifting


I have been looking for a home recently. And I have been examining those ever present questions in the human being: “How will I be feeding myself? How will I maintain a roof over my head? How will I get everything that I want in this world??

No matter how many pyramid schemes you may have come across, in our culture (no matter what the mythos states) it doesn’t matter how hard you work. It matters what you do, not how, or how diligently you do it. For the most part. A person may put his soul into working ten hour shifts at a recycling plant for $10/h. another may put in the same hours and make $75,000/year. The invisible poor - those who are not jobless and not helpless. They work for a wage that barely covers the costs of anything. They survive; not thrive. The whole banker-bonus-thing has brought this in to the public eye recently and yet they know that the power brokers owe them everything and they consider themselves untouchables.

I watched an amazing film recently. Not a dry eye in the house when it was over. It is called ‘Happy’ (www.thehappymovie.com) as the statistic goes, there is no difference between the happiness of those making $50,000 a year and those making $500,000. But between those making $5,000 and those making $50,000 there is a gap. The conclusion is ‘sure… Money can’t buy you love but it sure helps to make living better when you have enough to not have to choose between the pear and the raw cereal bar. Not to mention those who have to choose between a pear and canned beans (see the movie Food Inc. www.foodincmovie.com).

Conclusion? Capitalism is evil. Competitive existence is wrong. There would be more food to feed the world ten times over if we just stopped putting most of our resources towards killing each other. Now I know, that is a complicated issue and I’m not naïve about it. I just hope that in a hundred years people won’t have to worry about this kind of thing any more.

As I was sitting with/praying about what work to do and how worthy I feel and how guilty I might feel if I was making more money, I recalled how I ended up with the most amazing and compatible life partner I could ever have hoped for. I remembered that I looked inward and found that energy in myself before repeating the same mistake of chasing the dream (and my projections) outside myself. And so I applied the same principle. Within me is the energy of the work I can do that will bring me everything I want and more good than I can or have the ability to imagine. This is the law of attraction… become the vibration within and the same will certainly manifest without. 


is the realization

that within you

beats the heart of God!

            It is not a dream

            It is not a Godsend


            It is not a weakness

                of your enemy

            It is not a future

            without pity or remorse

            of terrorizing the emptiness

            within you –


            of the Gods on the


            It is not home

               not a predator

                   abandoned to horror

                        It is not safe

                           abandoned to be


            It is not a handkerchief

               laying alone

                   never used

                        never blown

            It is not the weird

            unstoppable power of

                A SWORD

                    all mighty

                         given to Adam

                              to stop evil

                                    from ever happening again!

            It is you

              and a point

                 of a pin

                     without hope

                         without regret

                             without sorrow

                                 without breed

                                     without death

                                         without giving

                                             without deed!

Unfinishable Towers

Here in
the desert I
may control the wind
by putting up a shelter
on a hill
with a medicine wheel.

Who is in?
The house
air. a bed. a sink. no
occupier I
have the courage to face
that reality. All projections
fade away though
they claw at each other
for sanity
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